Thursday, December 20, 2007

No Haten' '08

By Nicholas Allanach

2007 was, for some of us, a fast year of swift change: love, life and fortunes were either lost and/or gained in the blink of an eye; for others time slowly lumbered on making this moment in history seem static. Ultimately, no matter what we experienced, it all came down to how such moments were perceived and then processed for our future efforts. Will we take the lessons of this year’s mistakes to heart so as to prevent them in the New Year, or will we continue to stumble along stupidly making the same blunders as before? Can we acknowledge our successes or merely take them for granted by squandering them away on further greed and gluttony?
Looking back on the whirlwind of my own 2007 it seems so hard to believe it’s already here and gone before I knew it. I suppose life speeding up is something I’ll need to get used to -no rest for the wicked; especially in a city that doesn’t sleep. Despite the many ups and few inevitable downs of my year, I’ve found a simple lyric (eloquently expressed by Mary J. Blige) to keep me on track through the tribulations of this and any future year – “Hate it or love it.”

There were moments of 2007 where I wanted to “hate it.” Certainly such instances were few and far in between, but when they came, they came on strong. There’s nothing more depressing than to accept the rat race of this clockwork world: the dull ache of recognizing you’re not special, you’re growing old alone in a small apartment with no windows and that 75% of your day is spent communicating with people through the medium of a screen or text. Not enough love can keep anyone down. Recognizing your ego is as fragile as any other part of this body is enough to turn any trip into a bad comedown.

On the other hand, there were far too many wonderful moments to count that made this year the best I’ve ever had. This year, I learned to be more patient, to recognize the importance of friends, and that to find love I must be love. I learned to welcome those who are here and to not follow anyone when they leave. Thus, I learned I don’t need to give one iota of my valuable energy to any emotional vampires who cannot find that energy in themselves. With this lesson, I learned that power is important and anyone who resists it is either weak or na├»ve to its function; accordingly, I also recognized that with this “power comes great responsibility.”

Some lessons are easier to learn than others and of course, most are only able to be learned through the experiences we have (more often than not) with others. I didn’t recognize these things alone in fact, if it wasn’t for my friends and family I’d likely be still insanely bitter about all those sour tasting lessons others taught me. I could go on-and-on with this rant on lessons learned and my thoughts on the year that has passed, but time is too short. I have things to do before this day and year is done. Besides, there is too many demands today. This blog has become too narcissistic. Thus, I want to take a moment to –in no particular order- thank my peeps for all the positive things they’ve taught me this year…

Nate and Chrissy: thanks for helping me through the tough times, so glad we’ve made it through to the good ones! Allanach’s represent -taking this rotten apple by storm! Dad and Ben: not enough words to express my gratitude. Your life and love is an inspiration to so many. Thank you for teaching me that survival is not only possible it’s necessary – as is happiness. Ethan: for making me still care about the future. Kristi: thanks for being there to cheer me up when I was down and to advise me on keeping my game face on. It’s been a wild year and the next is going to be even better and crazier! Jesse: thanks for keeping me honest. You’re a great friend and Goodfella’, let’s hope this year will be the one we finally get made so we can finally take on the real gangstas! Mark: thank-you for not smiling; and thanks for smiling when you do – at least I know it’s for real. Nadir: splendid spending this good year with you Lord, cheers to filling our diary’s with many more games of cards, harpsichord recitals, and brandy! Denise: #1 mom in el barrio or any hood -represent! Thanks for the rambles, inspiration, and interpretation when this boy is trying to get his game on. Ben: for being so caring, fabulous, and the only shoulder strong enough for me to cry on. Rigo and Tom: for spreading the love and light at every party and get together, you guy’s rock! Mad love to you both in the New Year and to many more! Jill: for staying sane inside insanity when everyone else is drowning in drama. Chastity: for being super sexy, smart, savvy and patient enough to not take a jealous old man too seriously! Dan: for keeping me on track, cheers to our “Country” -this year will be the year for us to reclaim it! Sung: thanks for breaking the spell, listening, and being so damn cute. Ava: for the best advice I received all year; one word – butterflies! Steven and Wayne: for letting me know that it’s always ok to have a good time and enjoy life as well as for our many important rambles in Vancouver. Jays, Jeff, and Ming: thanks for showing this straight boy a gay time in Vancouver, you guys rule, keep my pops young, and get your asses to New York! Camaradas: for not only being the best damn bar in New York, but always there for a stupid drunk who likes to rant. Bianca: for teaching me love is beyond words, that our feelings are always universal, I look forward to ’08 (for whatever magic it brings to us both).

Salut’ peeps! Mad love and no hate n’ ’08!


El Mapa No Es el Territorio said...

Beautiful post, Nick. Thanks for sharing your blog with me. Love, A.

El Mapa No Es el Territorio said...

hey i would send you an email but i don't have your address so am leaving this as comment. i am somewhat embarassed that you read my blog, though of course i knew you would, because its really more like my personal diary and i am often embarassed by the things i post on there--my confessions, my emotional breakdowns, my heartbreak and worry etc. So just forgive the corniness and the scandal and i am glad that you like my craziness. you are awesome. lots of hugs, adriana from puerto rico where life is better.