The Way Life Should Be?

“All men are created equal. No matter how hard you try, you can never erase those words.” – Harvey Milk

As a native Mainer who fully supports equality and justice for all I was extremely saddened by the news this morning that my home state rejected the right for same-sex couples to marry. Of course my disappointment can never compare to the tremendous heartache and confusion the families whose lives and love are daily affected by the hurtful and hateful decision made by the majority of Maine voters yesterday. No words can console these feelings. My heart and thoughts go out to those affected by this vote.

My first reaction of sadness quickly turned to anger. I’m always so frustrated by the religious zealots, soccer moms, and back-wood rednecks whose bigoted vision of America is not one of equality and acceptance but instead guided by ignorance and fear. Despite my anger, I realize any struggle for freedom will not happen overnight and that resentment and rage will never help anyone on this tough journey toward a more evolved and enlightened society. That said, although we must not give-in to anger, no one should give up. The decision voters made in Maine is WRONG and history will one day show this as true.

Perhaps voters in Maine were afraid that “homosexuality would be taught in schools”? …So what? LGBT people constitute a rich part of our lives and culture. Homosexuality should not only be acknowledged but celebrated. By not acknowledging the truths of our world because they do not fit into our own purview of what is “normal” does not mean these things go away. Thus, we do a disservice to our children and our American future by not accepting the truth, which is that the love shared between people of the same sex is just as valuable and important as the love shared by heterosexuals. It is unfortunate Maine voters did not realize this truth.

Thus, the fight is never over. Admittedly, Maine’s unfortunate decision will have repercussions across the country. Politicians may begin seeing “the right to marry” as a “non-issue”. Perhaps President Obama will focus even less on LGBT rights? Accordingly, those who stand for equality must continue to press this issue and never compromise. “All men are created equal”, but it will obviously take longer for all people to be treated equal.

Until that day I remain...

In solidarity.

myNewSchool

This year, The New School turns 90. Below is my thoughts on this anniversary.

“Within every cynic you’ll find a disappointed idealist.” – George Carlin

Life is full of clichés that define how we understand reality; ultimately, we decide which ones to accept or reject. Thus, as educated and “engaged global citizens” we must not only question clichés, but challenge those we perpetuate. I suppose, a strong cliché for me is “The system is broken.”

As an undergrad, this cliché resonated loudly in my mind. I wanted to “change the world for the better.” Although the system was “broken”, I truly believed socially conscious people could build better and more just systems. Accordingly, when I heard about The New School’s “progressive history” and founding mission “to create a place where global peace and justice were more than theoretical ideals”, I enthusiastically applied to the New School for Social Research and saved money for my move from Maine to Manhattan. But before leaving home, my friends of a “hippy”, “punk”, and “anarchist” persuasion justly asked how I planned on “changing the world by reading Hegel?” …Good question and I knew an answer wasn’t going to come easy. In fact, after years of wondering “what the hell was this all for?” I realize, they were correct – real change doesn’t come through old philosophical theories or from heady discussions about Robespierre at cocktail receptions. Sure, theory provides a foundation, but it is through practice and application that a broken system can be fixed.

My brief six years at The New School have been rewarding and challenging. I’ve made many friends and feel honored to work at an organization that educates and encourages open and free discourse. Along my academic journey, I’ve earned an MA in Liberal Studies, a Certificate in Screenwriting, and am currently earning a Certificate in Teaching English as a Second Language. Thus, I continue to move (perhaps like the New School itself) away from theory and toward practice. Whatever I do, I know I still want to “change the world for the better”, but I never want to become the aloof academic, who narcissistically believes I’m making the world a “better place” by only associating with those within the safe walls of an academic institution.

Admittedly, it’d be disingenuous to assert I’ve “changed the world for the better.” Or even that I believe The New School remains true to its history. Somewhere along the line that stretches back to the day I walked into 65 Fifth Avenue as an idealistic student, to where I sit now as an administrator behind a desk—I know, I lost something. Perhaps, I’ve become a cliché? Sure I’ve tossed aside the Hegel, but for what? …Fukuyama? This may not be “the end of history” for civilization or The New School, but sometimes it feels like it and it sucks to admit - the crooks won. The good guys lost.

Indeed, “the system’s broken”. But instead of sulking lets start solving as we continue to change as individuals and as a school. Accordingly, I still expect “myNewSchool” to be one of the few places left where any repairs to this broken system can occur.

Harvest

Summer concludes early this August with school starting on the 31st. But I'm not bitter. The waning hours of this sweltering season are optimistic and exciting. The seeds sown this summer while settling-in to our new Astoria apartment, promise a wealthy crop of fresh projects and new responsibilities this fall. It’s unfortunate I won’t also be raking-in more money to do these projects, but honestly, I -as few can say - have no right to bitch. Life’s good. And if I can manage to maintain myself on this present trajectory, perhaps it can be even better?

As always, the summer past quick but there were welcome moments to reflect and relax. No doubt, I'm a lucky man: I live with an amazing girlfriend (and her two dogs), was just promoted at work (without a raise, but more responsibility and a new office), and have a comfortable new apartment.

Despite all this, two paradoxical feelings are still pumping through my being. One is guilt: I know others are not having such a good life and there must be some kind of karmic retribution to be paid for all the great things happening to me but not others. Or not, maybe this is my karmic pay off? After all, the last four years haven’t exactly been the easiest. Nevertheless, I still can’t help but feel like a common capitalists crook. Admittedly, I’m not the recipient of any ‘bailouts’, but I am privileged and am just following orders with the rest of the mindless mass. Sure, I’ve worked hard for what I’ve achieved, but I’m, still a slave to the wage and would like to be a part of building a better world than this. Nevertheless, whether I like it or not, capitalism is the name of the game and if I can’t beat it, I damn well just better enjoy it. Besides, everyone else is, so why shouldn’t I? Accordingly, feelings of guilt are wasted emotions and quickly replaced with an evil envy and greed. An insatiable urge for MORE consumes me and I see the same desperate anxiety in the panicked eyes of others. This is who we are. All of us are balancing on a knife’s edge, between oblivion and abundance. At any moment we could either help or harm the other members of our human tribe. And what makes us decide one way or the other? …Survivalism.

While away from work this summer, my days were spent in my study/studio painting, reading, writing, or just dumb daydreaming out a large window at plush trees and a green backyard while blasting music. Other times, I was in the kitchen, cooking food and eating it alongside family and friends. I walk the dogs around the block in the morning, jog along the river under the Triborough Bridge in the afternoon, and watch films over drinks at night. Some friends have jokingly renamed me: I was "Nicky Danger" but am now "Nicky Domestic". So be it. Puking nights and hung-over mornings are over-rated.

The "power of the pack" is essential to survival. Perhaps it's true, family (however, one defines the word) “comes first.” This summer, the Allanach tribe grew by one, with the birth of my beautiful niece, McKenzie. It was also nice to have her older brother and my nephew, Ethan, spend some time with the boys and me at “Camp Astoria”. My father, from Vancouver, also stayed for a week to tour the city and meet some of our friends. Of course, my guests were welcome distractions while Ena was away visiting Osaka in July. And when she finally returned, it was like I fell in love with her all over again.

I’m content. But wonder, now that I’m happy, can I maintain my air of “Danger” without destruction? And at what costs… am I still real? Or, have I just become another illusion sustaining this empire? I certainly still feel real and I know I have a need for adventure. But now, there’s no longer a need to desperately prove, or push the limits of my existence through the failed ways I’ve been so accustomed. Maybe I’m actually breaking out of the illusion for this first time? Instead of being so hell-bent on off-setting my ego through controlled substances or self-destructive experiences, I’ve decided it’s “high” time to stabilize my life. Live my dream and “Just do it.” After all, the best way to prepare for more ambitious future adventures is with a stronger body and clearer mind.

Easier said than done. Enjoy the rest of the summer…

adios el barrio!

For the past five years, I’ve called el barrio (a.k.a. Spanish Harlem or East Harlem) home. But now, I’m moving out. Goodbye Claudio’s Barber Shop! Farewell el barrio Juice Bar! Adios Ricardo’s! Yes, this weekend, I will cross the Triborough Bridge to begin a new chapter of my life in Astoria, Queens. I’m sure this will not be my last time in el barrio (I have too many friends here to ever do that), but something about this move has got me reflecting on the old neighborhood: it’s history, it’s present, future, and how this place schooled me into the person I am today.

I shared my first apartment in el barrio with my ex-wife on the corner of East 115th Street and First Avenue. On the day I moved in, I was welcomed to the neighborhood by a circle of elderly Italian women sitting on the sidewalk (which, I soon discovered was how they spent every day). The oldest women in the group had resided in the apartment above mine her entire life. After welcoming me to the neighborhood, she asked if I "was Italian?" Of which I replied: “Nope. American.” This confused her; however, she then expressed how relieved she was that I was "at least white and not a nigger."

Her racism was ignorant, but not surprising; after all, throughout the sixties and seventies, el barrio was (as it is today) going through considerable change. Back then, the neighborhood was not “Spanish Harlem” it was “Italian Harlem”. And as the ethnic makeup of the neighborhood changed, competing gangs vied for control of their “territory”. At one point, Second Avenue was a dividing line between Italian immigrants to the East and Puerto Rican immigrants to the West. Things got even more complicated once the Italians began hiring Puerto Ricans and African Americans to run their drugs while they reaped the profit.

Like every neighborhood in New York, el barrio has an interesting and often violent history. Part of this history is rooted in organized crime or the Cosa Nostra. The first Crime Family to gain dominance of East Harlem was the Morello Crime Family, which later morphed into one of New York’s “5 families” - the Genovese Crime Family. As a big fan of mafia movies, I was so excited to see an old Genovese “social club” still in operation across the street from my apartment on East 115th Street. Everyday, I’d look out my window and watch the old timers run numbers, hand out loans, or just soak-up the sun while smoking cigars. Of course, the most organized activity I ever saw come out of that little brown social club with the green awning was surrounding the preparation and celebration of the annual Giglio feast. Each year, Italians from all over the tri-state convene in the old neighborhood to celebrate their ethnic heritage. Sadly, this last of the “social clubs” has become like many other relics in el barrio – boarded-up and vacant.

Throughout the summer, Puerto Ricans, Mexicans, Cubans, and Domincans also host street festivals and parades. In fact, it is not uncommon to stumble across a large stage set-up on the street for outdoor music performances. The largest of these festivals is undoubtedly the Puerto Rican Day Parade. Most Puerto Ricans migrated to New York during the 1930’s to settle in el barrio and the South Bronx; over the years they have become the largest population in the neighborhood. In my opinion, Nuyoricans are the cultural and artistic lifeblood of this ethnic enclave. In fact, the Nuyorican stronghold, Camaradas, became one of my favorite haunts in el barrio. Camaradas opened one month after I moved into the neighborhood and although much has changed since then, I will always look back fondly on those late nights (that often turned into early mornings) rambling politics, drinking beers, and dancing (badly on my part) to salsa music.

After living in any place for a period of time, one begins to acquire experiences and memories; accordingly, every corner of el barrio has a story for me. While walking up First Avenue from East 114th Street, my mind wanders back to the runs I took along the East River and cooled-down in Thomas Jefferson Park. I think back to the few years I spent on East 115th Street and to the many friends I made in Camaradas. Of course, there were many more debaucheries that took place at Orbit as well. The corner of East 116th and First Avenue would be where my heart was shattered by one girl and then healed by the embrace of another. And up the Avenue a little more would be the place I was mugged. This city makes me into who I am with every punch and kiss.

I only lived in el barrio for five years. But during that short time I made many friends and watched as the neighborhood changed. As I reach the small apartment I lived in for the past two years at 346 East 120th Street, I look West to new condos going-up and wonder how long el barrio will remain “el barrio” and not “Spa Ha” or the “Upper East Side”? How long will the corner boys be able to scare away the Starbucks?

El barrio made me into a stronger person. But it has also contributed to some of my bad habits. Although I will miss the old neighborhood, I am excited to start this next stage of my personal evolution in Astoria.

Howard Zinn

This week, Howard Zinn was at The 92nd Street Y to promote his new book "A Young People's History of the United States". The event was part of the People's Voices series which seeks to educate and inspire new generations working for social justice. Zinn was also joined by Avery Brooks, Staceyann Chin, Tim Robbins, and others.

It was an honor to not only listen to but to actually meet Mr. Zinn. His "People's History of the United States" is one of my favorite books, which recounts the story of The United States through the voices of those who are usually ignored or overlooked by more traditional history books. America has (and unfortunately continues to be) a very violent nation and unfortunately, many have difficulty acknowledging this unsavory past. American History, for many students, is often taught as a sterilized story that avoids much of the violence and injustice that built-up the current empire.

Anyone, who labels Howard Zinn "un-American" for his research would be mislabeling a man I believe to be one of the greatest and proudest American citizens. Howard Zinn grew up in the Jewish slums of Brooklyn New York, where his parents worked as factory workers. Later, Zinn would work in the Brooklyn shipyards where he was also a labor organizer. Zinn's opposition to war would result from his service in World War II, where Zinn conducted bombing missions over Europe.

Zinn's understanding of America is of a work in progress, a nation defining and redefining itself through time. President Obama seems to also understand this philosophy, during his campaign, Obama said "The strength of America is that America can change." Zinn's "People's History..." clearly shows this change in action; however, it is unfortunate Mr. Obama himself seems to be backtracking on many of his initial campaign promises of implementing this change and is instead continuing to bolster the same failed policies of the past. Zinn himself recently wrote about his hope for the People to change Mr. Obama's mindset.

Zinn's article is another one of many that does not seek to destroy the President, but to instead remind him (and those who seek social justice) that there are other alternatives to the failed ideas of capitalism and war. As our American history rolls-on, it is up to us to continue putting pressure on those in power. Otherwise, we're merely committing and are accomplices to the same crimes that have plagued America for so long. Fredrick Douglas said it best, "If there is no struggle, there is no progress."

That said, I've always tried to clearly define what side of history I'm on. Thus, despite my support for Obama, it is --like America-- something I hope and want to improve but often realize I have little to no control over what decisions he and/or "my country" makes. Nevertheless, I'm someone who wants a decent society that is not guided by ignorance. I continue to dream and hope for a better world. A world without injustice, without war, and evolved and enlightened enough to imagine new possibilities.

History will show us who wins.

* * * *

In other news, I was published in the new Indy Kids Radical Coloring Book - "Coloring Outside the Lines". So, order a copy today and help make another year of Indy Kids a success! Peace.

100 Days and "Moving forward"

Last week, Naomi Klein's column in The Nation starts, "All is not well in Obamafanland." She then introduces her "Lexicon of Dissapoinment" by stating its a "good thing...a growing number of Obama enthusiasts are starting to entertain the possibility that their man is not, in fact, going to save the world if we all just hope really hard." Agreed. It's going to take a lot more than hope to save the world - its going to take creativity, innovation, patience, cooperation, and communication from the top-down to the ground-up.

Thus, Obamafans must not only take their man to task, but must also begin implementing change in their own lives. Admittedly, it's tough to volunteer to paint a school or grow a community garden when you're unemployed. Thus, it should be the responsibility of the new Administration (working with big business) to create lasting jobs in green industries. Obviously, things are not going to immediately get better, we must make sacrifice now and develop new machinations to outlast this and future generations to come.

Although I consider myself an Obama supporter, I don't believe I've ever been intoxicated by any illusions that Obama would -gasp- be any different than any other politician. He is just as much a gangster as anyone else, but like all gangsters he must support and put the interests of "the family" first. Thus, my only "hope" has and continues to be that Barack Obama be a great and influential leader who has the interests of "the family" (our global family) in mind.

I never believed Barack Obama would be perfect. However, I do believe he has proven himself to be a great President over these first 100 Days and I count myself as someone who continues to support his efforts. There will be many recaps of the past 100 Days throughout the media, so the below is my take (and how I've decided to waste this Wednesday morning) on President Obama's progress report - thus far.

On his first day in office, President Obama issued an Executive Order reversing the "Global Gag Rule" implemented by former President Bush, which prevented federal funding to foreign establishments that allow abortions. President Obama also announced on his first day, the closing of Guantanamo Bay Detention camp, which was also a reversal of the former Administration's policies.

President Obama then requested the passage of the State Children's Health Insurance Program (SCHIP), which will provide health care coverage for children whose family's do not make enough to pay for insurance but make a large enough income to not meet Medicaid requirements. Way to look out for the "middle class" (which your critics say you have apparently overlooked).

President Obama signed into law a $787 billion dollar Stimulus Package. Now, this "Stimulus Package" is something I've been relectant to even comment on. After all, I (like many "average" Americans) know very little about economics. However, I know enough to know it seems to have come down to the same evil greed heads ripping poor people off like always. The bankers and investment banks guided by laisez faire Neoliberalism have for the past 20 years, acted as if they could sell-off the planet and all it's valuable/limited resources (including human capital) as if they would never have to pay anything back. Now, with the current global economic downturn (alongside the surmounting environmental crisis) it has become all the rage to talk accountability. Thus, even though things are going bad (and could likely get worse), it is at least sobering to hear Obama enforcing a more frugal economic stance that is intended to better hold investors and company heads accountable for their actions.

Of course a large part of the Economic Stimulus Package is intended to create jobs through federally funded development projects. Personally, I have not seen any of these projects and I have also not seen a lot of news reports highlighting these "new jobs" or "green projects"; however, there is a really great homepage that does at least provide news, graphs, and a way to see how these funds are being spent. This is another thing I like about the Obama Presidency - transparency. Obama has now made it the norm for government to use technology to keep the public updated on its progress. Whether or not this homepage and all that it says is bullshit, is up to us to see with our own eyes, ears, and wallets.

I'm also impressed by the way Obama continues to speak about the problems with the environment. His promotion of green jobs and projects is a step in the right direction; nevertheless, I believe more needs to be done and fast. It will take more than speeches to stop the ocean levels from rising - it will take massive sacrifice, something Obama has not initiated. Likely, because he too foolishly believes other problems are more pressing. Big mistake.

I'm also glad President Obama has suggested holding Bush Administration officials accountable for their torture memos. After all, if "The United States does not torture", than anyone who initiated or approved such "enhanced interrogation techniques" should be put on trial and punished for treason. I understand Obama would like to "move forward", but he cannot do so properly until those who committed crimes in the past are dealt with properly.

Regarding National Defense, Obama has called for the reduction and elimination of nuclear proliferation; however, he also said that the total elimination of atomic bombs "may not happen in my lifetime". I read this statement as a clever cop-out; after all, if this won't happen in his lifetime, than that means Obama intends for America (and its allies) to keep its weapons while preventing others from gaining access to them. I would like Obama to be more forceful on abolishing all nuclear weapons.

In other good news, the Defense Department has been instructed to eliminate its big budget and useless defense contracts. However, I would (like all hippie liberal peaceniks) prefer to see more cut from the defense budget and given to schools instead. I'm also in support of the reduction and withdrawal of combat troops from Iraq. After all, I never supported the Iraq war and hope that "moving forward" the government will recognize it is our responsibility to rebuild the sovereign nation of Iraq it, subsequently, helped destroy (i.e. "liberate").

Of course, Obama has ordered a "redeployment" of troops to Afghanistan. I do not support any escalation of troops in Afghanistan, but hope that Obama's intent is to engage enemy extremists through special operations units instead of massive amounts of wasteful ground troops. For now, to be continued... After all, lets be honest, the United States wants to see Osama Bin Laden's head on a stick.

Finally, I'm inspired by the Obama model of "direct Presidential diplomacy" with world leaders in action. Those who've criticized Obama for meeting with Hugo Chavez, Castro, etc. are foolish detractors who unfortunately suffer from a USA superiority complex. We are all citizens of this planet, it is nice to see our President understands this as well. The best way to avoid any escalation of violence is through dialogue, when dialogue breaks down, all is lost.

Phew! Well, the above rant from this liberal, elitist, New Yorker may be a rather unlettered, misinformed, vague ramble; however, I believe it shows that within the last 100 Days, Obama has done much and we should feel empowered to know our President is not only "moving forward", but confronting the many problems that have gone ignored for so long. Admittedly, there are many things I neglected to talk about in this screed: Iran, Palestine/Israel, Stem Cell research (which I'm glad to see approved), etc. etc. Thus, Obama has many issues to juggle at once; fortunately, he has done so, thus far, without pissing me off.

Keep up the good work Mr. President - the world is watching.

(Note: I admit, I've fallen for the propaganda and bought into brand Obama. Just like I'm excited about my Mac, so I am for "Our President". Chris Hedges is a smarter man than me, which is why he writes for a living and I only continue to placate the systems of power I subsequently profit from. Nevertheless, "I got my fist/I got my plan/I got survivalism.")

Forget 4/20/1999

Happy 420!

Hopefully everyone, spent their day in an enhanced/altered state? I know I did. When I finally got home, I smoked a bowl and decided to dig into my spring cleaning. However, while sorting through my old boxes of art, writing, photographs and news clippings, I came across a paper from 4/21/1999, which made me remember - 4/20 isn't just "marijuana day" (especially in America). 4/20 is also significant since it was on 4/20/1999 that Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold killed 12, wounded 23 others, and finally turned their guns on themselves in what would become known as the Columbine High School massacre.

Admittedly, the remembrance of that day had already been force-fed into my perview all afternoon while perusing the headlines and news sites. In fact, all of this "remembering" made me a little annoyed by the way we continue to find some sort of strange satisfaction with tragic incidents. Long story short: there are so many atrocities throughout history, what events we choose to "remember" or "never forget" say much about what kind of historical narrative we continue to create.

For American pot smokers, "420" is already a pretty hard day to celebrate
properly (unlike our more liberal friends to the north). It's bad enough we're not allowed to smoke in public or to even admit we smoke weed to others. (I've obviously opted otherwise). On top of all this, it's a real DRAG we have to also put down our pipes, blunts, and bongs for some silly "moment of silence". After all, if we're to define Eric and Dylan as "terrorists", than why remember them at all? Why further celebratize and glorify these killers? After all, isn't that what they wanted?

I propose we forget 4/20/1999 and return this glorious day back to it's rightful roots - smoking up! In fact, maybe if Eric and Dylan had taken up glass blowing, they never would have built all those bombs? Eric and Dylan should have smoked weed (maybe weed wasn't as easy to get a hold of as guns)? If they had, they would have been great cartoonists or shockrockers; instead they'll always be little angry white punks - shame.

For the faithful and morbid souls who opt to continue wallowing in Eric and Dylan's bloodshed, I wish you the best as you continue to vicariously "feed on tragedy".